Wednesday, March 07, 2007
prince and snickers: makes a boy gay! so very gay! gay gay gay!
This year's Super Bowl telecast generated about 150 complaints to the Federal Communications Commission, with the bulk of the beefs centering on Prince's halftime performance and a Snickers commercial. As seen in the letters on the following pages, many correspondents were upset because they believed that the rock star was manipulating his guitar as if it were a penis. As one viewer noted in an e-mail, the "pro-homosexual theme" of this year's event, telecast on CBS, was "disgraceful." The writer added that "just because 6% of the population is gay," porn did not need to be included in the broadcast. Another purportedly offended viewer was concerned that the halftime show would have an unfortunate lasting effect on his son, who "hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay...Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY." The Snickers commercial--in which two mechanics accidentally kiss as they jointly eat a candy bar--repulsed some football fans, one of whom wrote of feeling "violated" by the ad. "God knows, I didn't turn on the superbowl expecting to be tricked into watching gay sex!" [...]
You know ... I'll give them that thing with Prince (also known as "a former penist") and his guitar behind the sheet, up to a point. If you weren't paying close attention, and only saw it at first out of the corner of your eye, it really did look like Prince was fondling a big, long, peculiarly curved and appallingly pointy penis. (Seriously, what sane person would want something shaped like the end of that guitar heading toward them with intent?) And, quite honestly, I think that was more or less meant; it's Prince's stock in trade, after all, or it was. So I can kind of understand that moment of disquiet.
Some of the complaints are clearly not serious (Prince's guitar-sheet section made someone feel so inadequate that they were "unable to preform [sic] that evening") and some of them you merely hope aren't serious. ("...now I have to explain to [my children] what a wet spot is on a cum covered sheet", "I would preffer [sic] not to have showed it to my four children who love football. One of them has hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay.".
Some also complain about the infamous and dreadfully stupid Snickers commercial. Not because it was stupid and homophobic, oh no no no. Not a single complaint along that line is reproduced; I don't know if any such complaints were received by the FCC, and given the current administration, it's certain that they would not care about those complaints in the slightest. No, people were complaining about that ad because it was too gay.
That Snickers commercial, it turns out, was some high-concept gay porn! "Their lips met, their tongues obviously intertwine..." (One is at a loss to figure out how their tongues obviously intertwine around the candy bar between them -- the physics and anatomy alone would seem to be a bit daunting -- but clearly, one's eyes are just not as sharp as the person making the complaint.) The first mechanic "simulates an erection" with the candy bar. (... Actually, I can kind of see that one. Which would make that commercial FILTHY FILTHY FILTHY! oh so very FILTHY!) The interesting thing is that the nature of the complaints clearly indicates that most of the complainants didn't watch beyond the candy bar kiss/simulated intercourse. I'm not sure they would have been any more thrilled with the manly results, though.
One wonders what sorts of complaints the FCC has received -- and surely they must have received some -- over Jimmy Kimmel's parody of that ad (available on YouTube for the moment and NOT WORKSAFE, AND SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED BY CHILDREN OR PRUDES OR ANYONE LIKELY TO BE ANNOYED BY IT BECAUSE THIS REALLY IS ABOUT ONE QUICK GROPE AWAY FROM THE MESSY GAY PORN). "I was watching Jimmy Kimmel and was surprised to see three men clearly masturbating each other through their overalls! This is obscene! It turned my 6-month old son gay, right there in his crib! I saw it happen! Now he'll never be a football hero! The FCC should crack down on these things before it turns everyone gay!"
Prince and Snickers: they make a body gay!
Posted by iain at 11:24 AM in category television