Ho, ho .... ho?
CNN.com - Fed-up priest starts 'Santa-free zone' - Dec. 5, 2002: Eckhard Bieger, a Roman Catholic priest in Frankfurt, said he is all for the holiday season, gift exchanges and family celebrations. But he believes the twinkly-eyed old man in a red costume is a commercial fraud. "Santa Claus is a creation of the advertising industry and Coca-Cola to further commercial interests," Bieger told Reuters. "I don't have anything against Christmas presents and don't want to disappoint children," he said. "My aim is to put St. Nicholas back at the center of attention rather than this Santa Claus figure, which is just an empty shell."
St Nicholas. He wants to put St Nicholas back at the center of things. Well. Quite.
Six to Eight Black Men: A heartwarming tale of Christmas in a foreign land where, if you've been naughty, Saint Nick and his friends give you an ass-whuppin'
..... In France and Germany, gifts are exchanged on Christmas Eve, while in Holland the children receive presents on December 5, in celebration of Saint Nicholas Day. It sounded sort of quaint until I spoke to a man named Oscar, who filled me in on a few of the details as we walked from my hotel to the Amsterdam train station. Unlike the jolly, obese American Santa, Saint Nicholas is painfully thin and dresses not unlike the pope, topping his robes with a tall hat resembling an embroidered tea cozy. The outfit, I was told, is a carryover from his former career, when he served as a bishop in Turkey.
..... The words silly and unrealistic were redefined when I learned that Saint Nicholas travels with what was consistently described as "six to eight black men." I asked several Dutch people to narrow it down, but none of them could give me an exact number. It was always "six to eight," which seems strange, seeing as they've had hundreds of years to get a decent count.
The six to eight black men were characterized as personal slaves until the mid-fifties, when the political climate changed and it was decided that instead of being slaves they were just good friends. I think history has proven that something usually comes between slavery and friendship, a period of time marked not by cookies and quiet times beside the fire but by bloodshed and mutual hostility. They have such violence in Holland, but rather than duking it out among themselves, Santa and his former slaves decided to take it out on the public. In the early years, if a child was naughty, Saint Nicholas and the six to eight black men would beat him with what Oscar described as "the small branch of a tree."
"A switch?"
"Yes," he said. "That's it. They'd kick him and beat him with a switch. Then, if the youngster was really bad, they'd put him in a sack and take him back to Spain."
"Saint Nicholas would kick you?"
"Well, not anymore," Oscar said. "Now he just pretends to kick you."
"And the six to eight black men?"
"Them, too."
Um ... I'm thinking that I'd just as soon keep our commercial fat guy who miraculously manages to make it down surprisingly narrow chimneys, drinks your milk, eats your cookies, scatters presents while he may, while his reindeer plotz on your roof.
I'm just sayin'.....
..... The political climate regarding "six to eight black slaves" didn't change in the Netherlands until the 1950s? In a country that never had race-based slavery?
Good heavens.
Posted by iain at December 09, 2002 07:44 PMComments
Ah, yes...Sedaris! Always cracks me up. Thanks for the link...
Posted by Scott Chaffin at December 9, 2002 08:16 PMEr, you do know this is *just* a David Sedaris standup comedy routine, don't you?
The authentic Dutch Saint Nicholas rides a gray horse and has one companion, Zwarte Piet, a somewhat intimidating figure who is in charge of the lists of good and bad children, and who probably originally represented Spain, Holland's one-time bitter enemy.
Sedaris' Santa and the "6 to 8" Black Men isn't a fraud, after all. I looked it up. Check out this URL: http://www.internet-at-work.com/hos_mcgrane/holidays/abhishek.html
You'll find a picture of one of the black men. Plus the whole story about the white horse and living in Spain.
So weird he couldn't make it up, apparently.
I first heard the David Sedaris "6 to 8 black men" several months ago on NPR. I was not blessed with superior intellect or much common sense. I was blessed with the ability to remember bits of useless information like the "six to eight black men"piece and that Mr. Ed's is buried in Cookson Oklahoma.
Yesterday I went to a Christmas Party for my husbands work. Towards the end of the evening the person in charge asked each table a trivia question to determine who would take the floral centerpieces home. The question was "In Norway who pulls Santa's Sleigh?" Convinced that I knew the correct answer. I said, "seven large black men."
The person asking the question said "I was looking for more barnyard type animals." In Norway Santa's Sleigh is pulled by a goat. After seeing the expression on my husbands face I realised that I should explain my answer. I explained I heard on NPR and that some scandinavan country believes that Santa travels with 7 large black men. My main concern intially was that the people at my table thought I was insane. Until my husband pointed out that it could be considered very racist.
Needless to say since my return home I have been searching for this information so my husband can show his co-workers I am not crazy or at least not racist.
I am so glad I found this site. I know now that it is Holland (Netherlands) not Norway
and it was 6,7 or 8 black men. I said that they were large but that was probally wishful thinking on my part. Thank you Richard who posted the other website.
I found the audio version on This Amercian Life episode 201 12-7-01 Act Two. It is a little better because talks more about the pretend kicking and what Dutch parents tell their children.
