Charges filed against trio in anti-gay drive: Special prosecutor John Aguero filed formal charges Monday against [Christian] Montoya, 17, and two others: notary public Ralph Patterson, 76, and Anthony Verdugo, 40, leader of the local Christian Coalition and a board member of Take Back Miami-Dade, the group seeking repeal of the gay rights measure. All three were arrested last week and released from jail. A fourth person, not yet identified, is expected to surrender today. [...] Rosa Armesto de González, an attorney representing the three, said the arrests are politically motivated. [...] ''This is the work of the homosexual, bisexual and transsexual mafia that wants to destroy our families and take away the right of every Dade County citizen to vote'' .....

HA! The Lavender Mafia strikes again! Fear us!

Next time, we'll take Cleveland. Not that we actually want it, but you know, it's just something to do.

(Don't these people think that we Mafiosi have better things to do than to conspire to destroy families in South Florida? There's the entertainment industry to control, we have to rescue Martha Stewart from herself ... I mean, jeez!)

The lesson for today: every time someone brings up that old "Mafia" thing, they will be mocked mercilessly. (The concept of "Marlon Brando dressed up like June Lockhart" is just deeply deeply disturbing, somehow. Deeply.) And afterwards, we'll send in the Evil Queens Without Taste to redecorate their house.