President Bush is reportedly studying Aristotle.

I will believe that when donkeys fly.

Quite apart from the fact that our president does not seem, shall we say, philosophically inclined ... where on earth would he find the time to study Aristotle? He doesn't even have the time to read the policy documents issued in his own name.

To be sure, that's not remotely what the article is about -- the question at hand is whether or not Americans are actually reading books, or just buying them and faking it -- but it's such an incredibly arresting opening line.